Overcompensation - The Bluff??

Is Overcompensation Confidence or is it Arrogance?

By Carl R. ToersBijns

 

It has been said often there is a thin line between being confident and being arrogant. Although the differences may be hard to tell you have to look closely to find what you are seeing is either overcompensation of feelings, ideas or tones and volumes motivated for a real unwarranted and raw materialistic or emotional power grab for control.

Some behaviors for example describe confidence such as being loud, expressive and in your face attitudes seem to reflect for many positive attributes of a person’s personality, characteristic or confidence.

Conversely, some feel that people who demonstrate their will, intelligence and voice silently, and in a cooperative manner can also display confidence but in a lower key manner that can be described as being aloof or other stereotypical comments that describes people.

The fact is that both are broad generalizations and must be applied to different situations. The main issue is whether or not either style attempts to draw a response of the subject at hand thus approach might deliver the desired response.

There is nothing mysterious about tone or volume associated with communication and behaviors. There are those persons who have a quiet confidence and there are those that possess a loud arrogance. The message is delivered in the manner desired for the situation.

Thus it is important to be able to distinct the different behaviors for different situations and conclude the difference between confidence and arrogance.

Realizing that some people can go about and take care of business in a quiet diligent manner yet draw the appropriate response and respect is another way to seek the proper attention for the occasion. Thus we have a quiet type versus the all mouth that is often described as being “all mouth and no action.”

Interestingly, people in general, either through their own social skills or indoctrinations or educational levels will resort to some sort of adjustment of approach to maintain an objective mechanism and control of the subject discussed or debated. This is where you need to have the ability to observe and look for superficiality and relate to the person’s motive or desire in such occasions.

So you must always ask a few questions about the situation as you wonder; are controlling people overly dominating because they actually feel out of control of the thing/person they are trying to control? Does this thing/person that they are trying to control scare them a little bit? Is this a matter of insecurity rather than being confidence or arrogance? You have to figure out just what the real deal is here so you can adjust your situational assessment and maintain control of what you want to say or do in such instances.

There is one rule a person must never forget. Whenever a person feels they are at a distinct or known disadvantage, they make try to manipulate the situation and overcompensate and become a little bit assertive, aggressive, more innovative or creative in their mannerism or approach.

My point is to simply be aware of such conditions as they may play into the part or act being performed to influence a desired outcome. This is most commonly known as a bluff.

When people feel they are being backed against the wall or cornered into a situation to fight or be controlled, it causes them to compensate for the occasion and may actually exceed and successfully deceive their personal capabilities to defend themselves effectively. Hence, when a person is at a disadvantage, this may motivate them to perform better and higher than ever before giving them the energy and drive to make things happen with unexpected results and successful conclusions.

Situational control is a very delicate process. It involved every capable human intelligence resource available to overcome either a physical or mental disadvantage and allows people to be smart enough and brave enough to try what was once impossible for them to think or do.

Thus it is fair to say that confidence and arrogance work hand n hand to accomplish personal feats when challenged and give them the desire to overcome personal barriers and be successful in the end. Another important lesson learned on human behaviors.

 

December 1, 2012