Why I can't walk the line

Why I can’t walk the line

By Carl R. ToersBijns

First and foremost let me say that I am trying to be a good person and tell the truth as I believe it is to the best of my ability. I know my writings or a word piss some people off and helps others understand the problem or matter more clearly. But this is done or accomplished not without some kind of rub or wrong feelings why it was said or done that way. Either way, it’s a no win situation as controversy only breeds contempt or dissatisfaction for some and informational insight to others.

I have mentioned several times that being a critic has no personal rewards nor does it warm up people to stand along side of you. You struggle through most of it alone and like anyone else doing what they think is the right thing to do, you suffer consequences in social content and contact that may impair your feelings for the moment but makes you realize your actions caused others to think and express what they feel about the issue at hand opening up their minds and thinking free or independently from others.

Everybody struggles with controversy. It’s usually divided between the good and the bad as well as the right and the evil way of doing things in life. I have and been living a worldly lifestyle that is expressing my thoughts and ideas via the social media as well as the news media. For that I will not apologize for as I believe in awareness makes things better and allows for change to occur. I want to bring change and this is how I stacked my tool box to do so.

Walking between the chasms of good and evil takes it toll and isn’t easy. Conflict is a hash and mean spirited thing when it attacks your heart, your soul and your mind, bending you one way or  the other making you wish you had conformed to walking the line and not stirred up such a mess. I’m sure there are others that feel this way but in all reality, it’s not for me. I don’t want to walk the line and conform; I want to move that line in one direction or another to make it better.

It is with great certainty that my works, my thoughts and my memory will be eclipsed once I die. I am hoping that some of my words bring happiness to some and resolution for others. I believe I will be forgiven for my sins done and for not walking the line. As for me to tow this line of neutrality cannot and will not be done in this lifetime.

I will not succumb to surrender or the silence it requires to be politically correct walk the line. It is not that I like to live on the edge of life but rather I resent and resist elements of evil men or groups menacing people’s rights and the distribution of sinful temptation to do nothing or just follow  and go with the flow.

I will behave according to my spirit, my soul and my values of life and its ethical content. I will work hard to repress regret and lost friendships but I will be overly empathetic to those who are impacted by the negativity in their lives, their workplace or their hearts. 

My thoughts are ambiguous to some and clear to others. That’s the reality of controversy or crisis management as it stands. I don’t think I am right all the time and I certainly don’t think I have all the answers but one thing I do know and that is to stand still, remain silent and do nothing is not something I could accept nor do I wish others do so as well. 

My tone may be subvert and loud and uninvited. I challenge the fact that not everyone wants to hear or deal with other people’s thoughts or ideas and refuse to listen or deal with the problems discussed or recited. That is just one of those things we do when we decide to be passive or aggressive in the manner we stand up for ourselves or others.

People must know I take risks and live in a state of jeopardy as there may be a time where a fanatical interpretation of my ideas or thoughts becomes offensive enough to act out on and deliver a blow to freedom of speech or freedom of the press.

Sometimes I act foolish to draw out the heat and sometimes I play coy to see what you are thinking. Either way, it’s my way to learn more about people and how they act, learn and play this game of life.

Neither tricking nor manipulating the outcome, my voice only speaks what needs to be said. Everything else is irrelevant and left unspoken.

Lastly, I am not a divided man. I am not torn between right or wrong or good or evil. I call it as I see or feel it and that’s my right to do so. How I feel about some things may not mean to much to others but when you look at the big picture, it may in fact impact others in one way or another. I have and will never stray from my personal responsibility. I mean what I say and I say what I mean. I retract when I am wrong and I embrace it when it’s the truth.

Walking the line is not for me. I can’t tell you how I feel but this phrase means nothing to me except that I am completely happy and satisfied with myself and know that no matter what you think of me, I don’t see two faces in the mirror when I awake as I address the morals in our society and workplace each day.

If there is one thing I would or might regret is that I can’t write too much about the good times. It seems that the bad days dwell over the good things like a dark cloud in the sky covering what needs to be seen.

I don’t throw rocks or stones at people but criticize their strategies, management principles and mostly perceived or inferred erroneous ways to do things. This unfortunately focuses on the bad times much more than those that are good like we want them to be.